Ex wants to be friends years later reddit

Ex wants to be Friends with Benefits. About four years later, I was in college and I was just browsing Facebook before going to bed, and I received a video call from her. We haven’t talked since. He was my first relationship and only a few months younger than me. But still not friends. before breaking up they committed to mending the harm they caused me and yet they still decided to leave w/o fixing anything. If you try to become friends now, the “love in another form” could look like an FWB situationship orrrrr you could be platonic friends and your ex moves on with somebody else while you’re attached to them (devastation). Even after years I feel I always put in effort and we saw each other often. So my ex and I have been dating for 4 months, she went into a bad episode of depression. cottagecorehoe. Almost sounds like she wants the comfort of you without the commitments and support to you 😕. It would mean something if my former bullies reached out, but I know that’s not the case for everyone. there’s a lot that happened in our relationship that has gone unresolved and swept under the rug by them. Be as much of a lack of self respecting doormat as you seem and you will be fine. Yes, the pandemic has taken a toll on everyone. I know I could never just call him to talk about a problem or ask for advice, because he wouldn't be interested in listening. We still care for each other but we have no romantic feelings for each other. Things ended with my ex (who was also my best friend of 4 years) around 6 months ago, because he apparently fell in love with someone else. We talked about our past, setting boundaries (we were all in LTR) and really had start from scratch. It's a little tricky to explain to the new people we're dating, but my ex and i also have an understanding that we'd limit interaction to the occasional text when dating someone new to respect our new partners. hit it, quit it, make sure she knows that you've moved on. • 3 yr. Me and my ex were friends for 3 months before dating. I became friends with two of my exes after more than ten years had gone by, came to terms with the breakup, had been in different relationships and learned from our mistakes. 3. • 2 yr. He must have got wind of this news from old mutual hs friends. Not only were we in a romantic relationship, we were basically best friends during that time. Huge red flags. dynamics change, the entire relationship changes - I understand you had deep meaningful conversations with him in the past, but I think you need to accept that he's moved on and you're not part of his life anymore. I feel like they think it's the way to get free sex without all the additional work. FA ex broke it off abruptly 6 months ago and detached completely. Just remind her not to be too rough as she's wiping her feet on you. So yes, you can’t be friends until you’re completelyyyy over it and the relationship is somewhere in the rear view mirror as something that happened Ex wants to be friends but then ghosts when we start actually talking a lot. Award. We dated for about 4 1/2 years and broke up about a year ago after being engaged (broke up about ~6 months…. I don’t trust him anymore but now he really wants to be friends again- like we were before. And even then they probably take some time off. Block her. . So my ex and I were friends for about two years before we starts dating. Eventually it tapered off and I stopped hearing from him. Today, we were texting and it did not stay as platonic. I don't really remember why, but we had both been snippy with each other before this happened. I also want to tell my boyfriend but, I don’t want him to feel like I’m a disloyal person. We figured my FIL told him we’re expecting our third child. You're not a consolation prize if he doesn't win the jackpot in his mid 20's, and he doesn't want to "be friends". I loved him, I deeply and truly loved him. 2-3 at least. You have zero obligation to be his friend. Ex’s can be friends, but not two weeks after. She left us all shaken up and no one wants to get back with her. if she offers, go back to her place. My ex divorced me and now wants to be together again after 4 years. Any advice would be great. Then, on my birthday (June 12th) I got two restricted calls with no voicemails. At first we were still having sex but he stopped saying he doesn’t want to hurt me or lead me on. Once that relationship ended, my ex got "custody" of him, so we aren't friends anymore. Let me tell you this now-it’s already been established in the relationship that she can treat you however she wants and she will get away with it. Quick recap: My ex wife, who Ive known since I was 10, cheated on me but is now dying and wants me to be around before she dies. Met a guy romantically but we decided to become friends and didn't really talk for five years then he left his partner and reached out to me. Edit 2: My daughter made her own post about the divorce under AetherDekuna. •. 4. ”. Ex girlfriend in high school who was my first love broke my heart and left me for another guy when I was 17. 2 days ago, my ex girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me for good reasons. Ex wants to be fwb. so he packed up his whole life up quit his job and drove 28 Then when I asked him again why he was contacting me-he said it was because he was bored. A place to get personal things off your chest. We ended up spending a whole lot of time together because of that and became friends. She tells me how her new guy doesn't treat her right and doesn't pay attention like I did. I've been friends with my ex for 4 years now. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I was in a 15 year relationship with my ex. Walk away and live your life, let them live theirs. The last ex I met after a long time is now my boyfriend, we've been together three years now and were friends for around a year prior to entering a relationship again. But I would tell you just try it out if you have any desire too, you don't want to sit in sorrow later . he lied to me about her, and left Me (24F) my ex (27F) of about 4 years. So I worked harder. He’s made several statements about how he’s “not planning to date anyone else,” as he’ll “always love me” and wants to “try again. My ex who is 23 and I am 21 had been dating since January and we broke up around end of May. It’s been 2 years since I started dating my best friend (a second time) and we’re the happiest we’ve ever been. that is all. Cut him off if it is causing you pain. She texted me saying "If your cool with being friends that would be cool, that's all I can give anyone right now" I said that's fine and I respect that. bitches love smiley faces. I haven’t reached out to any other ex in my life but throughout the pandemic, almost all my other exes have reached out. It felt easy and seeing him made me feel energized and good and we just got along. Ex who cheated wants to get back together and I still love him submitted by cokdkskekrke555439 I was with my ex boyfriend for over five years. I‘m talking years. The ending was my fault. A year later we had a “friend group meeting”- we all went to different collages and agreed to meet up one afternoon. The sad truth is: if they want you in their life they would have never let you go in the first place. They will only believe it coming from him. I tried to get her back again, but not as hard. But believe when a man says he doesn’t want to be with you. we dated for two years, broke up to be on our own for a bit and then just a few weeks later started talking again. Dear_Delivery_9607. Thanks in advance, hugs & kisses. Cut this boy out of your life. I have a new boyfirend now and I am happy. If they give you the "this isn't working but let's stay friends". Maybe it’s because I know I have the power to break his heart like he once did mine. Going no contact because I was trying to be friends with my ex (which she wanted) after we broke up and now I try contact and never get a response so now I’m going no contact until she figures out what she actually wants. We are still good friends and we talk often. We talked over dinner (Italian food) for 3 hours to the point where we got kicked out, and then held hands and walked a little while before Ex wants to “try again”. Friendships are 2 way streets, and it sounds like he isn't respecting your feelings at all, and it's all about what he wants. It seemed sincere & not like he is trying to comeback into my life, he just said how he treated me was shameful and has always weighed on his When we ran into each other ex-friends dad congratulated my wife and I. He would always say sweet things to me and flirt while they were together but we were mostly friends. My ex before him, high school ex, him and I were friends for 7-years, that is middle school and high school combined. He’s finally getting the help he needs now and seems to be very enthusiastic about it. we’ll call her Sam married my ex a month after we broke up. He wants you to be his security blanket and to continue to provide girlfriend-like emotional support to him while he goes off on his 'hero's journey'. My advice is to become distant & they'll get close, seem busy but be available, get fit, dress your age, & fuck like just met. Ex fiance wants to meet up after leaving me at the alter four years ago. This was our third date and she asked me a day after our second movie date. She's not in a mindset of getting back together. then we started dating long distance . We hadn’t realized it as it happened, but it became a problem and she If that's something you want, then you need to fully cut him out of your life, and find someone better. We all left her behind and made a new group chat. He needs to stop wanting her attention because he has you to give him all the attention he needs now. Mind you, my birthday's on a Sunday. REPOST. you feel hopeful because you really want all Wait until you’re healed and over him (might take months, if not years), then offer the olive branch of friendship. bccdeff ♀ • 9 yr. Salty_Solution_917. Best way to be friends with your ex is: Don't. He's so selfish. I must tell you I highly doubt it. Me and her chatted for a bit and I realised it’s not worth even trying to become friends again- for the 15 mins I asked for her to talk in private she neglected me for almost all of it. My ex and I are still best friends post-breakup, which is weird, apparently. [1] They miss your friendship. Anyway, a friendship developed out of that. 5 year relationship. tl;dr: My ex wants to get back together after 4 months of no contact. About 10 years later she got engaged. Reply reply. He lied to me about meeting her and met her two days after we ended things. He wants me back, I do not want him. Wants me to open up and say all the things I couldn't. I want her to be happy and she wants me to be happy. Talked for about a month but then he met someone new and told me and we just kept being friends. I really need advice. I have been in love with my bestfriend for a year now and I would do anything for her. I wouldn’t meet him. Eventually (and with some hints from her friends) we realized we still had feelings for each other and went on some dates and talked out what went wrong the first time. If anyone wants to get back with their ex, there has to be a lot of time passed. Girl just wants to be friends after amazing date. He'd changed a lot, grown up. makes me feel stupid. I love her too much to let go and decided to go with it. I am not OP. It could be her trying to make herself feel better by offering friendship. This is mostly because I believe in looking forward and not looking back. No contact is the easiest way to move on from someone. (tl;dr) I really don’t want anything to do with my ex. My wife and I continue about our 2 possibilities; 1. She probably kept you around as a safe choice or back up if her relationships don't work out, to use you as her emotional tampon, even though you were just a friend, she might have seen you as a possible safe choice in a partner. being a long time redditor on both the breakups & NC subs, i can make an educated guess that he will chicken out the last minute. Yep. Actually open up to her and tell her your fears, tell her why you still love her, tell her why you may think you will hurt her, and then after you "dump" everything on her if she and you still want to pursue it, pursue it if not stay friends. Posted by u/ThrowRA-exdramas on r/relationship_advice. • 15 days ago. He apologized profusely for “putting me through so much. I am not sure what to do. he recently messaged me on Instagram apologizing for how he treated me. He apologized for his part and agreed. Then that changed to him saying "because why not" and then that changed to "I want to be friends with you". I’m 20 (f) now, but I was 16 at the time. ago. So, I am 24 (m), and my ex is also 24 (f). They will actually find you more attractive if you do. It was great. I think it’s a mix of boredom, curiosity, and trying to find any connection in a time where it’s hard to. Thanks for everyone's advice! Wall of text incoming, TL:DR at the top. They really don't want to be your friend, they say that so they can keep you on the backburner incase the one they're chasing doesn't work out. It’s probably because it seems hard to just cut contact with someone after being in a relationship with them. Anything is possible, go in with an open mind and definitely don't get your hopes up assuming she wants to get back together. ) ex and Sam constantly hung out with my family/other friend group. We didn't have a lot of friends, so the majority of our uni lives were spent with each other alone. i got out of a mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive relationship over 6 years ago. I saw my ex-friend look at my wife’s belly and then acted distant for the rest of the exchange whereas she was friendly starting off. If you're not wanting that I'd give it a pass, honestly. But, my assumption to what’s happening is that many of us who come to boards like these and share our feelings are typically in an extremely vulnerable place. There's nothing wrong with wanting be friends with your ex as long as there aren't any feelings anymore. Not exactly to be friends, but when I heard about an active shooter in my ex's neighborhood three years after the breakup, I sent him a quick message expressing concern, because if I ever cared about someone at all, a tiny bit of me always will. 1. My ex and I (both 22) were together for 4 years from the start to the end of university. If you and your ex were friends before you dated, they might want to get back to that dynamic. DO NOT be friends with her, you do not have to be friends with her at all and your boyfriend needs to understand he needs less of her in his life or you should get out. It's very rare, and takes very healthy exceptional individuals to go straight from a relationship to friendship. I want him to explain to me what’s going on and what it is he thinks he’s doing. He's already made his intentions clear and yet she's still in contact with him. I’m conflicted because I still love her and she knows this. everyone else is telling me to block her and shes not sincere and i have coffee. I worked 60hrs a week for years. Whenever we talk, he only says one worded texts so I don't know. One of my exes from early on in high school happened to be the best friend of a boyfriend I had later in life. Your fiancé must communicate to the kids and the ex that getting back together is not an option and that you are his new partner. But if you think it will help, go for it. after some discussions I proposed to wait three years to start our friendship. If he did, then he would make the effort. We haven't done anything in that time to suggest more than friends. I know what it means to get bullied. For the past 8 months, we’ve been dealing with a lack of connection due to me being emotionally unavailable, using sex to fill the void. My ex-wife and I were together 16 years and we transitioned very well into friendship. They may still want a friendship so you can help support them, even if it’s not in a romantic way. every time they break up with me they always say Told my ex we can’t be friends even though i wanted to. And by the end of the day, he called Ex wants to “be friends” I’m super annoyed because I’m trying to heal from my ex of 3+ yrs and I know he doesn’t want to be with me right now. Jul 22, 2021 · Here are some lessons from the real experiences shared by women on Reddit based on their own stories of when an ex came back years later out of the blue. Fuck that noise. We all hang out at a farm where we hunt, build deer stands, garden and have previously raised cows. Other things to consider is that being friends with an ex has a 50% chance of causing some issues in your current relationship. I (woman) would never contact an ex after that long unless I wanted to give it another go. Spoke to the ex and cried for 3 days straight. 5. She left me, found someone new and is upset that I don’t want friendship and said that I’m abandoning her. Still I do in some weird way want to meet up with him. Not being friends with your ex has a 0% impact on your current relationship. A lot. He spent the only 2 days he has had free in so long helping me with DIY. My heart was shattered and like an idiot I took her back only for her to cheat on me with another coworker. We continued talking/acting like nothing happened We hung out the first time as friends a few days later. It sounds like you will still be holding on, waiting for the possibility to get back together in the future, but you can't really plan for how you think you might feel in the future and sacrifice your quality of life right now. That means no communication of any kind, no meetups, no friendships. The second time I texted her telling her how pissed I was, we got into a fight, and we didn't talk for about two years. Work on the reasons you broke up. Original - 6/3/2021. Realised cannot be in contact with him and can’t be friends. Everything is about what he likes/wants, what makes him feel good, what boosts his ego. We talked for about 4 or 5 hours. I (33M) was dating this chic (30F) for 6 months and things were great. but some people aren't interested in being friends once a relationship is over. Not see them. he accepted. If you want to work on yourselves as individuals, then you need to do just that. 3-4 years later she messaged me out of the blue and wants to be friends again. For context: I broke up with my 1st boyfriend who I dated for 5 years about 10 Fearful Avoidant Question. So I just went on the best date in a while. I have tried to tell him that I am I’m hurt because I still want to be friends. 12 votes, 31 comments. TLDR: Ex reached out after 10 years, broke it off with my current who was fine with it more than I was, ex and I got back together, dream of having a child came true, didn’t lose anyone in my life and honestly couldn’t be happier. We both moved on with new partners. Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. my ex wants to talk. basically they will say what you want to hear to continue engaging with you. Go for what you believe and take chances, never know what might happen! Truth is she wants to be friends with him in hopes that he fixes himself and they can be together again. we were never ‘friends’ before, we started as lovers, everything was too intense and there’s still some physical attraction. Otherwise you’ll be in this limbo and never move on. I appreciate your sentiment in wanting forgiveness and I am glad you have recognized your mistake. For me this is pretty cut and dry unacceptable. And he just doesn’t feel like sex right now. He slept in my bed with me too my DA ex, after apologizing for having hurt me during the worst deactivating and devaluating phases, suggested to evolve our relationship into a friendship. Edit: we had a minor discussion, she agreed with everything I brought up and we will be discussed potential ways to handle this. I haven’t spoken to my ex since then. Not sure whether I regret the 16 years or not. we recently broke up around 3 months ago. I declined it. She cheated on me with coworker and we broke up only to get back together 2 years later. My head is just all mixed up. He sent a LONG message to my friend about how she was making a mistake and that he hoped she wasn’t doing this because it was culturally expected of her. If you‘re lucky one year is enough. Years later I would still find my self thinking about him, despite getting into new relationships. We broke up about 3 months ago because we believed it would be best playhard2work. You can care deeply for someone and enjoy their company and still not want to be in a relationship with them. Working less meant fights over spending on things we couldn't afford with threats of divorce and emotional manipulation. we were on the brink of becoming an official relationship again, when he changed his mind and left me for a girl he had never met (they had only texted since the week before). We decided to stay friends and I think we had managed to stay platonic and I thought we were moving on. send her a smiley face. 13 votes, 34 comments. If they dumped you, let them go. we will reach Mar 15, 2024 · If your ex still wants to be friends, they might realize all the positives that you brought to your life. • 19 days ago. Even if you met someone else, your ex being in your life like this will only cause problems later. My ex wants to be friends. Relationships. The message needs to be clear and firm and repeated as often as needed. Maybe this was just how it came to a head. DemonicGirlcock. [deleted] He moved away. Edit: There's an update post on my profile. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! UPDATE: My (40m) ex wife (40f) wants me to be with her in her last days. My ex texted back almost 4 years later. It’s been almost 4 months post break up from a 6. I blocked him on my phone so he couldn't call or text me. From this thread, it sounds like most people wouldn’t want to hear from a former friend / ex friend. 2. My guess is she will feel blackmailed and she already told you that she wants to just be friends. We did long distance for about 5 months before we both realized we didn’t wanna be without one another. Even said maybe there’s a way for us to find a relationship again in the future if the timing is right. I don't have any hard feelings towards them, and we both want to be friends, but I need some time to sort through my feelings of heartbreak. they're really typical when it comes to wanting ego boosts. There is only one ex that I am still friends with, and we were friends for 2-years and attended the same college and were in the same classes, we had the same major, which is how we met. We trade pleasantries and say good bye. Maybe to mitigate the guilt of dumping you. ADMIN MOD. It's a good feeling. Even six months later she continues to check in and suggest we do things Still terrible for OP, of course, but at least understandable. Sadly, no he did not. I‘m not talking months. rainingsakuras. So she should be the one to carry the re-meet. We dated for 5 months and broke up after 2 months of being in an open relationship and him falling in love with his long-time friend that he was dating. That he’ll get better, “he’s got this It's possible. Has been very persistent about wanting to be friends ever since, even though I have asked her to give me space as I’m still attached and not ready to be “friends” right away. My my best friend from 5 years old up until we were 22 years old. 2 months back she broke up but wants to be friends. I think you’re witnessing a lot of people ‘wanting’ to be friends with their exes because they’re sharing it here, on Reddit. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! My ex is angry that I don’t want to be friends. About 7 months ago I moved out of… Tbh I've never met anybody like myself unless they're rich or famous. Update - 4/4/2021. You are worth so much more than that. We were together for 16 more years when she up and left me again. I have now been close friends with my college boyfriend for nearly three decades! We live in different states, but talk on the phone regularly. They are an ex for a reason. Both your Ex and you have to grow. Over time, I've realised what a terrible boyfriend he was then, and what a crappy friend he is now. My BF's ex wants him back. ) our best friend. Then, a few days later at about 6:30 PM, while I was out to dinner with a friend, I got another restricted call with no voicemail. 24M. That wasn't good enough for her, so we got divorced. I think after a few months passed he called and it was fine. You can‘t change other people, you can change your own behavior and patterns. Yes. It ended 3 years ago. Yesterday my ex was on her way out of our home (we still live together), and she had a break down out of nowhere, and basically told me she misses me and the friendship we had. Recently, when I was single and I noticed that he was also single, I messaged him to tell him that I wasn’t happy with the way things played out between the 2 of us. Never really told anyone about the details, but I’m willing to share. ItsaBeeegyoshi. Ulterior. About a year into a relationship with a new guy (my now husband) he sent me a message on MySpace (LOL) asking why we can’t be friends, that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, he’s in a relationship and he’s happy. Basically four years ago, I (F 29) was supposed to be getting married to my fiance at the time, J. By massive it had to be sent in 3 messages because it exceeded the character limit in iMessage. Venting. Ask a question or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Me (34m) and my ex gf(30) had a relationship that last from 2013- 2017. due to me being in the military. I loved this girl I really thought she would be the one I would marry. She wants to fix him and he wants to fuck her. So long story, me and my ex met almost a year ago and we got together in December and broke up in February, I’m really glad we broke up because we haven’t gotten to know each other a lot better and we opened up more, 15 M and 15 F btw, anyway most of my family except my grandpa which I stay with a lot 8 months later she wants to be friends after pretty much no contact. But I keep getting pressure from mutual friends that I should give her a chance to be back in my life as a friend now that she’s changed for the better. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process. Also later (for many other reasons) dealt with depression, anxiety, anorexia, bulimia, and family issues. Probably forever, especially if you want any future relationship to prosper. I broke off the friendship with my toxic best friend four years ago and I am happier now than I had ever been when we were friends. I did everything to get her back, and we got back together. Here is the text message I sent my ex-friend, maybe you can use parts of it that you find helpful: Hi, I’m doing well, thank you for asking. Yeah, my ex who cheated on me 3 times decided to message me a whole year later with a massive paragraph on how she fucked up and wanted me back. I was initially shocked by what you said but I came to make my peace with it. My (25M) two year relationship came to an end recently and she (22F) wants to be friends. Do not set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. There is nothing you I suppose. I have anger issues learned from my parents, and occasionally yell at her or just project my stress or insecurities onto her. At least enough to want good things for them. But I would never do to him what he did to me. 🤦‍♀️. Even before the fight, things had been a bit rocky between us. I was best friends with my ex for 6 years before we got together for 3. He dumped me almost 4 weeks ago and I’m doing my best to move on, but I admit that I do still love him. She laughed with her fiancé about her ex My(30M) Ex(30F) wants to be back in my life as a friend years later, but I don't think I want anything to do with her. And I'm sorry if I sound passive aggressive. I met someone new and I was head over heels. She randomly just wanted to catch up. Her boyfriend, now husband asked her not to talk to you any longer. Everything was going perfect, I was in my After all, she asked you to marry, cheated on you and left for the ex for 6 months before coming back to her back up. Things were difficult but we’ve never been able to stick to NC and he wants to be friends. My ex up and left me after 3 years of marriage. I told her everything she did wrong and she said she was a stupid teen and is sorry. I'll update once we talk later this week. If she “wants to be friends” but you’re not allowed to reach out, then that’s going to be a very one sided friendship. zq ix rz kk jq kd ke pm oc tt