Ex wants to be friends but i still have feelings reddit
She used you, then now she's back with the ex but is still keeping you around, this demonstrates that she's not a good person in general and unsafe Fearful Avoidant Question. 2. I know for sure I will always have feelings for him and I don't think a friendship will work out in whichever multiverse lol. My ex wants to be close friends, but I still have feelings for her. To be clear, I am not friends and have never been friends with an Ex before, and I don't think you can be friends with someone you've had sex with previously. We still love each other, but the thing is, I want to be with him in future, get married etc, and he doesn't want to. The ones I'm not friends with were douchebags. Don't stay friends with an ex while you still have feelings for them, they'll use it to their advantage and the second you start trying to pull away to heal and move on they'll be begging and gaslighting you to stay around so they can use you as their backup/emotional tampon. What you need to be mindful of is keeping your expectations tempered. You've done the right thing. If you and your ex were friends before you dated, they might want to get back to that dynamic. She told me she couldn’t see me anymore because she started seeing someone else and doesn’t want them to “feel some type of way”. She can then run back to you because she knows you still have feelings for her. FA ex broke it off abruptly 6 months ago and detached completely. My (28F) husband (49M) lost his best friend (50M) from high school because he crossed a line with me and now I can't stop feeling bad because I shouldn't have said anything. A week after she broke up with me she messaged me asking how I has and I told her the truth and told her I was broken inside. I feel like I can have a friendship with her but with boundaries (no dating anyone talk). We broke up a few weeks ago, because they said they did not love me, which to be fair is a decent reason to no longer be together. When it was over, i unfollowed them from social media and deleted their texts and pictures from my phone, and put away the romantic mushy Polaroids I had of us. A breakup means I don't want you in my life (right now). Your question is if she still has feelings. I (23M)have been dating this girl (23F) for 2 years now and she is amazing in every way possible. Is this possible? We started as FWB and looking back, I was not a good friend to her. We haven't done anything in that time to suggest more than friends. there’s a lot that happened in our relationship that has gone unresolved and swept under the rug by them. it takes time. My mother was a nightmare MIL. It means he’s following through with what he said, that you two cannot be friends, and blocking you is the way to prevent him from contacting you and you from contacting him. Still terrible for OP, of course, but at least understandable. But don’t pine over this woman. Maybe later you can accept her as a friend, but not now, and unless you want a repeat of your relationship you should minimize how close of a "friend" she is. Hey . So give him the breakup. You cannot be friends with someone you still have feelings for you will only end up hurt. We were happy and spent nearly every day together but, like most relationships, we began having problems. What is in your control is what you do with them. It will only keep making you miserable and confused. It will always be you wanting her back and being in pain when she gets a new boyfriend. Huge red flags. He wants you to be his security blanket and to continue to provide girlfriend-like emotional support to him while he goes off on his 'hero's journey'. Maybe she is feeling down and needs a "pick me up" from her long lost love. She has been in a rebound after that and broke up in a week or two. Anyway, your feelings are yours. There are some people who are manipulative and want to keep you as an emotional backup, sure, but there's others who value the time you spent with them and do really want to remain friends. (She might be trying to ease her guilt) The pain will fade and eventually disappear. If he is, then everything else must be shut out. Don't stay friends with her. Posted by u/MySweetPride - 3 votes and 1 comment Gives them a bit of power over the breakup, boosts their ego. When you make plans with your ex, make sure that they don’t involve anything romantic. My ex wants to be friends. We divorced 2 years ago, and we were dating for 1 year, married for 3. A lot. Again THANK YOU 🤍🤍 She’s my co-worker so I see her everyday. Truth is she wants to be friends with him in hopes that he fixes himself and they can be together again. There was tension between an ex and I at one point but we've since both moved on and are happier for it. Some advice, just be polite but firm about your boundaries. I've been friends with my ex for 4 years now. It was what she needed. Either way, I wouldn't be ok with them talking regularly. Over time, I've realised what a terrible boyfriend he was then, and what a crappy friend he is now. I still have feelings but I also wouldn’t mind having another friend, because I don’t have many friends. My ex girlfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago, we have been in no contact for a week and will continue to be until some time over easter. She wants to fix him and he wants to fuck her. I think there needs to be some boundaries on that I (20F) dated my ex “Angel” (19M) for a few months from 2022-2023. we recently broke up around 3 months ago. If you both aren't on the same page it's best to just distance. ”. JakHammer9. My mental health has gotten better since I stopped talking to him, but I still feel really bad. It could be her trying to make herself feel better by offering friendship. If you can't bring yourself to do that, at the very least hide their updates. It's a little tricky to explain to the new people we're dating, but my ex and i also have an understanding that we'd limit interaction to the occasional text when dating someone new to respect our new partners. Go fix whatever issues you had that contributed to the breakup. If she left you once she will leave you again, even as a friend. I was best friends with my ex for 6 years before we got together for 3. He had been trying to convince me to do it for 5 years and I had agreed to it 2 months before the BU and even had paid stuff for it. If she wants to come back she will. He broke up with me a few weeks ago, but he has said he wanted to remain friends. • 3 yr. He was slightly jealous and insecure and he tended to overthink a lot, but I was dealing with mental health issues and often didn’t have the energy to reassure him the Ex wants platonic friendship. I'm not saying she is right, but that's my perception. We were about to go live together at an apartment he bought 2 blocks from my house. If you still have feelings for him it is incredibly unfair to you for him to expect you to be a friend. I do not even refer to her as my ex but as my roommate. However we've been messaging recently as 'friends'. If at the end you value the platonic relationship more than anything else, you will be happy no matter what. There were a lot of tears, mostly mine, the rest his. Maybe in some time, you can look at your ex again, but for now it's better to stop looking. Award. Even though I was hesitant at first, I said okay. makes me feel stupid. Sit down one night and write down what you learned from your relationship. It will only hurt you both more in the long run. I was with a guy in a situationship and after the feelings fizzled we still remained best friends. Posted by u/yourgirlalex - 6 votes and 3 comments That sounds super unhealthy. HEAL. After that I know she is single as we have mutual My ex said she lost feelings for me but wants to keep me around. Girlfriend (F24) is still friendly with her ex, and I (M24) am uncomfortable with it. Seems she cares, but wants you to figure out yourself first. We dated for 5 months and broke up after 2 months of being in an open relationship and him falling in love with his long-time friend that he was dating. Please please please don’t stay in this situation if it’s destroying you mentally and emotionally. It's possible. He's already made his intentions clear and yet she's still in contact with him. I don't have any hard feelings towards them, and we both want to be friends, but I need some time to sort through my feelings of heartbreak. ItsaBeeegyoshi. ]I do not feel comfortable remaining friends after we broke up. She wants to be friends and I don’t because it’s painful. The only reason someone reaches out after all that time is because they still have feelings for that person. So my ex girlfriend breaks up with me and really wants to be friends. Take the time to really think about this. Hey guys, I’ll make this short and sweet. It can be hard to be friends with your ex though, you may not be okay when they start dating somebody Go live your life and learn to give yourself more respect. 4) you've even said in your previous posts multiple times she doesn't care about you. 4. I’m moving on. You will feel like you waisted your time. What she wants is a neat little ending to the break up. Then you can be friends and see what happens. Almost sounds like she wants the comfort of you without the commitments and support to you 😕. Do all the things you want to do. It’s all contingent on your situation and how you both handle emotions. Everything is about what he likes/wants, what makes him feel good, what boosts his ego. We are now 30. Ive tried with working on getting her feelings back with her because she agreed. They say it so you'll take it a little better. Has been very persistent about wanting to be friends ever since, even though I have asked her to give me space as I’m still attached and not ready to be “friends” right away. Shes not the same person from before so during the time i was trying to work Depends on the person, really. Please do not contact me again, as I am not willing to keep in contact. Original. Me and my ex were friends for 3 months before dating. He still says he loves me and cares about me and stuff and that kind of thing really puts a hinderance in my 10M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. Since the breakup, me and my ex offered to be friends. Reply. I’d rather not be in his life, than just having chats and casual good morning and good evening greetings. every time they break up with me they always say We have managed to have a friendship for a while, although stupidly did end up sleeping together again briefly. IF she does have feelings still, then this would be an attempt on her part to basically instigate an emotional affair with you since her new boyfriend already expressed discomfort about her reaching out to you and she represented you as simply a "friend". Go to the gym. If what he is doing makes you uncomfortable, he will need to decide whether keeping that relationship with his ex is worth making you uncomfortable. She tells me how her new guy doesn't treat her right and doesn't pay attention like I did. Tonight while at dinner, we were talking about ex's somehow and it came up that I am still friends with a few of mine. You'll prevent them from understanding the benefits of moving on, causing them more pain and heartache both of you should go your separate ways in order to make it easier to not get caught up in anything that would cause problems between you both. She is very jealous, I thought she was crazy and I was annoyed with her, but now I'm wondering if she has a point. 5-4. We only ended things about 2 weeks ago. We start talking again and I go to visit him, we apologize for everything that happened and confess we still have feelings for each other. It shouldnt push him away. Buy yourself all the gifts you would want to be given. Now I'm back and he has a new girlfriend. Long story short, we had a really long and exhausting relationship of almost 7 years. He Now the issue is, I still have feelings for him, they're smaller now since I've been making myself be just friends but they are still there. Anyway after I ghosted the girl in question I realised my mistake and tried Like the title says; I still have feelings for my ex. I told him I needed time before I could be friends with him because I need to not love him so much. You missed the boat, sorry. Told him I still have feelings for him and therefore cannot stay in contact. A week later she comes up to me and says she wants a friends with benefits thing. For example, even if you want to remain friends, he may not be able to do, and want to distance himself from you. This is the hard part and this is why a lot of friendships don't survive if someone confesses feelings to the other. You can just ask him how he is feeling. Cut him off if it is causing you pain. We were together for one year before we broke up, because I went to study abroad. If you don't distance yourself form her, the only thing that will happen is that you will suffer. You can care deeply for someone and enjoy their company and still not want to be in a relationship with them. It might seem really tough to ignore him but in my opinion that’s the best and the only way to get over him . If he doesn't want to get back together with you he is just using you as a crutch and it is complete bullshit because you will never be able to move We were in a relationship for about 3. My advice is ask him if he is serious about a future with you. Friendships are 2 way streets, and it sounds like he isn't respecting your feelings at all, and it's all about what he wants. If you still have feelings for her you probably ought not be friends with her. 5 years, but "technically" dated for only three months or so. Believe it or not sex isn’t always the only thing a man wants. She says she wants to be friends because she wants someone else she can go too and doesn’t wanna always bother her bf. Find someone who actually likes you. Friends with benefits almost never stays exclusively at that especially if you have a relationship history. Heck, they probably still have feelings and don’t want to lose the attachment so suddenly. Its been half a year and I tried to be friends with her, and but after a while I always get to the point where I start to desire her again. A month later just a few days after our one month together she breaks up with me saying she wanted to work on herself and felt we rushed things. I think platonic friends of the opposite sex are totally okay and I have quite a few women I am No fucking way. I think you’re witnessing a lot of people ‘wanting’ to be friends with their exes because they’re sharing it here, on Reddit. You have ulterior motives. Focus on yourself and your goals . He's so selfish. Now I feel I miss that time and her presence more than her touch. I know stupid of me. I still have feelings for my ex-wife. Posted by u/johanncx - 48 votes and 37 comments You probably shouldn't tell him, but it's hard to know for sure. Happened to me with my best best friend abd I truly wish I had the courage to walk away and come back. Fast forward 5 years we are both now 27. He said he loves me, but I'm not a priority and he won't marry me. But for the love of yourself, you should really give the rest of the world a try. Block her. If they give you the "this isn't working but let's stay friends". Tell yourself all the compliments you would want to hear. No ex really wants to stay friends. One is a very close family friend (we dated over 10 years ago ) the other is my ex husband (we share kids, so that's an obvious one). ago. God knows the world needs more love. Stop chasing. That's manipulative. I've told her I still have strong feelings for her and that I pray for the day that we will be together again. Do not set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Yes. It is unclear if he is interested in a romantic reconciliation, but you should treat it as he is not unless he says otherwise. Perhaps he still wants you in his life as a friend because that is his comfort zone. We two were deeply in love, were intimate at times and tried our best to maintain the relation and we did till the very end. She probably expected you to show change and come back. I (33M) was dating this chic (30F) for 6 months and things were great. They may still want a friendship so you can help support them, even if it’s not in a romantic way. You aren’t her back up plan and her friendship isn’t a consolation prize. After some time, you will only see people who treat you as well as you treat yourself. 2 months back she broke up but wants to be friends. Yet she won't date me and can't articulate why. 6) she then got a shampoo you were allergic too and refused to throw it away despite it causing severe reactions for you. She wants to rekindle something with him. She was hesitant to be a couple, yet she wants to keep me close; she says I'm her best friend and she cares deeply about me, and I believe it. You cannot be friends with someone you are in love with still. 5) you got back with her and then you walked in on her cheating on you with Tom. It's very rare, and takes very healthy exceptional individuals to go straight from a relationship to friendship. Awkward_Criticism446. Me and my ex split up a year ago because she wasn't over her ex, she's now back with him. You're disrespecting your partner by thinking they can't be mature and have a friendship with someone they used to care about romantically. Plus, we owned a dog together. You don't feel this way because of who he is, but because of who you are. before breaking up they committed to mending the harm they caused me and yet they still decided to leave w/o fixing anything. We both have ZERO problems talking to each other about relationships. It's a big place, and there are a lot of super people in it. She went…. You are a placeholder. I still have feelings for her but honestly miss her friendship as well. If you want him in your life you might want to distance yourself from him for a while to heal from break up and get over him. You just want to know so youre not confused. I come back to my state and he gets back with his ex. You're not a consolation prize if he doesn't win the jackpot in his mid 20's, and he doesn't want to "be friends". 5 months. Look at this situation - you don't want to be her friend, you want to be in a relationship with her. Many people who remain friends sometimes end up reconciling. Yes, you can be friends with an ex but you must NOT HAVE ANY ROMANTIC FEELINGS LEFT FOR THEM. Posted by u/druatash - 1 vote and 20 comments 9: Respect is not distrusting your partner and being DO insecure that you indirectly accuse them of cheating or being willing to cheat on you. Don't get caught in that trap of being his shoulder to cry on yet that doesn't go both ways. She might want to be friends, but you don't want to be. I stupidly let her involve herself in our marriage, & mistreat my ex It means that he still cares about you and wants you in his life. You will be able to tell if he actually loves you or is just stringing you along with the way he answers. 1. She will feel like an object. For me, personally, it's difficult to divorce myself from the feelings I had for a person like that, though. They make you a better person, and you need to find a way to move on with them. Go out hiking. I don't think she was wrong for wanting to end it. I did say to him that I can't be friends right now because of my feelings. Should I run? My ex (M32) and I (F31) were best friends first, we stayed together for 15 years until last july, when he dumped me out of the blue. My fling would leave early in the morning before my ex got up. I still want to be with him. As someone friends with their ex. Please stop contacting me. She was & still is the love of my life and our divorce is my biggest regret. Need advice - ex wants to be friends. 13M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. Tonight I told him I can't be his friend right now. She never communicated her frustrations to me earlier on to tackle issues which i was open about. Don’t put the two of you in a romantic setting even if you are sure that you’re just friends now. 10. Told me 6 months ago he didn’t want a relationship. Earlier she invited me to hangout with her and I went thinking she still had feelings for me but she didn’t. If you didn't mean anything to him, then he wouldn't want to be friends. I don’t expect anything of her but I just wanted to let her know how I felt so she knows where I’m at. [1] They miss your friendship. Cuddled with ex fwb last night. . Saying he doesn’t want to talk to you or see you because he’ll end up breaking down and taking you back doesn’t sound like a lie to me. This is all IF she has feelings for you still. Its actually bad to be friends with an ex that is still attached to you emotionally. Mar 15, 2024 · If your ex still wants to be friends, they might realize all the positives that you brought to your life. I (28M) used to be married to an amazing woman (24F). He kept saying that we'll see each other and talk to each other Sep 28, 2023 · Communicate these things clearly and make sure that you both agree to them. It is possible and likely that you do still have feelings, but that is totally okay. Dating. Thank you so SO MUCH for taking the time to share and give advice. It's his way of still having you around. She knows I still have feelings for her but she really wants us to be friends. I'm doing badly processing the break up, he is Stop reaching out to him, block him if you need to . This is not something I am open to discussing. If she “wants to be friends” but you’re not allowed to reach out, then that’s going to be a very one sided friendship. She only wants to keep you around as a "friend" in case her new fling flops. But I still have feelings for my ex (23F) who I ghosted 4 years ago because I have been cheated on by another ex (who I don’t like) and wasn’t in the right headspace. How to be around my ex I still have feelings for So I (21m) met her (22f) almost a year ago, and we dated pretty seriously for 3 months. Even six months later she continues to check in and suggest we do things I feel like they think it's the way to get free sex without all the additional work. It does get easier. I went to her wedding with my wife. Fuck that noise. I had no choice but to accept it, well i didnt To make him feel better? At what point will we finally become strangers? We were both crying on the phone and it really set me back. Wishing you good luck<3. Im in the exact same situation as you now. You do not owe her anything least of all being staying friends. In the situation you described, it absolutely does not mean that he never had strong feelings. I actually havent spoken to her for 2 months now, but I still dont see any progress and every time I think of her I start to think about ways to get back with ADMIN. But, my assumption to what’s happening is that many of us who come to boards like these and share our feelings are typically in an extremely vulnerable place. In. Ex wants to be friends, i still have feelings. 100%. So I went No Contact. However. It's not worth it. Not wrong but you both need to know that it's friendship, and that things won't change. If the answer is yes, he is not the one. So as the title says my ex randomly reached out we have had casual conversations. She told it will get better and that she hopes to be friends. August 23, '22. We are well past everything and are great friends. I felt that I was downgraded and it hurt. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or… Block your ex on social media, at least for now. By being friends he can hold you at arms length and keep it on his terms by having a more surface level relationship while still keeping you in his life. It’s probably because it seems hard to just cut contact with someone after being in a relationship with them. And a commitment to realizing you're not good for each other. Back to being friends with my ex-girl best friend who I have feelings for, not sure how I feel about it I (24M) haven't talked to her (29F) in like 4-5 months, removed her from most of my socials because last time we made plans after 2 months of not talking she just blew me off, didn't even bother to respond to texts I sent her. Don’t make romantic plans. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Aug 19, 2019 · Answers, as well as Reddit pages like r/relationships, r/teenagers, and r/AskReddit, both dumpers and dumpees seek advice on what it means to want to stay friends, whether to agree to stay friends It was pretty mutual and organic. The ones I'm still friends with are ones that I like as people but don't feel attracted to/have core disagreements or incompatibilities with. I'm dealing with an ex who used to be my best friend. He said he understands I don’t want something casual and apologized for it. And I still have feelings for him, I still miss him. I've tried my best but the only time she's ever busy and doesn't talk is when she's with him and it upsets me every single time. Take yourself on dates. I truly want her to be happy. Block her and move on in your life. If she wants to just be friends and you want to date, creating a relationship with her just for a slight chance to get back together can really hurt you both. See first paragraph. Recently he's told me that he wants a to take a break with his bf and step back a bit because it's not a very healthy relationship and he feels like it's moving too fast. When you chase him, he runs. I respected that and since there were no hard feelings we remained friends. cottagecorehoe. Both of us do not want a relationship at this time with anyone. ex wants to stay friends. She knows I still have feelings for her since I tell her that I love her often. And even then they probably take some time off. Be friends with as many people as you can, even exes. Tell her, “you made a choice. canican Update: My (25F) boyfriend (33M) suddenly told me he wants to establish traditional gender roles once we get married. No matter what you might believe right now , you can only heal if you stop talking to your ex (at least for 6 months) . •. Shit man, who knows how long this will last. Dismissive avoidant people are fearful of intimacy and vulnerability but they also do want connection. At this point I dont think its going to change. . Heck, I don't think we can ever be friends. She is recently taken by someone else but wants to be friends with me. We have been friends for over ten years now. I would probably send something like: Hey [her name], this is [your name. I tried really hard to be friends with him again since he was someone I cared about, but I just Tonight I told my ex we couldn't be friends. My ex and I broke up awhile ago… and I still have strong feelings for her…she told me to do me and she will do her… but it’s just hard…I want to be with her. Some of our mutual friends have reached out to me and asked why I stopped talking to him because according to them, he genuinely valued me as a friend. Cut this boy out of your life. I don't know her or you so I can't say for You have zero obligation to be his friend. And one more time for the back! My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago and over the 2 weeks I’ve been finding it very hard to get over her, I still love her and want her back. For me this is pretty cut and dry unacceptable. Being friends blew up in our faces (my fault) and now we haven’t talked in 1. With a broken heart, I said the same thing to my ex, that I cannot be friends. I’m in high school so I realize this likely changes a lot, but my girlfriend, who I had been dating for about 5 months, said that she “lost feelings” for me one day out of the blue. I love her. Like really talk about it. You going out with another girl probably came across like you're not changing anything for her. I agreed and we did that for another month. In my situation, ex wanted to stay friends because we were best friends for a while, and I was “too important” and she didn’t wanna hurt me. I love her too much to let go and decided to go with it. Block her and completely remove her from your life. wjsvxsimeczcapkymtjz